Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Turner Classic to Add Commercials, Edit Films


From Yahoo! News (Eighteen Minutes Ago)- In the face of crippling competition from rival movie channel AMC and pressure from stockholders, premium cable network channel Turner Classic Movies (TCM) has announced its intent to radically alter its program format and will include commercials and substantially edit its films' content beginning in 2010, says TCM director of programming, Harlan Poole. "It's been disappointing these last several years, watching our numbers drop exponentially as the competition [AMC] knocks the proverbial ball out of the park. AMC's admittedly brilliant programming tactic of airing content-gutted non-classics like Roadhouse, Project X, and the Halloween movies has been the coup de grace that necessitated the change." Poole went on to say that onscreen host Robert "Prima Donna" Osborne would be transferred to a ceremonial post as "Director of Old Stuff" and would retain his windowless, basement-level office in Havre, Montana, where Osborne's introductions are filmed. No word on whether TCM's loyal viewers will accept this as an April Fool's Day prank...which it is!

15 comments:

  1. C.K.

    You had my heart rate rise to the stratosphere!
    My jaw dropped as I was reading this and the thoughts in my head are not fit for writing on your site. Ver good. Now I can laugh!

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  2. Ha Ha luckily another website did an early April Fool's joke last night so I was prepared. :D

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  3. Haha OMG I fell for it BIG TIME.... :)

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  4. When I saw this in my dashboard, my hear sunk... then on the short trip between the dashboard and "open in new tab" I remembered what day it was. Whew!!! You really know how to scare the daylights out of TCM fans!! :)

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  5. That was a good one because I honestly believed it. lol It wouldn't have surprised me. There are very few things in entertainment today that I enjoy. It seems that they are always "progressing." That just means they start to really suck after changing.

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  6. I almost had a heart attack when I read the article. I should have known it was an April Fool's joke. I was serioulsy thinking that TCM was selling out just to get the viewers.

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  7. C.K., I too was plunged instantly into a severe depressive state when I read this. "What am I going to do?" I moaned to myself, metaphorically wringing my hands. Sometimes I record two or three movies on TCM in a single night. It then takes me weeks to catch up! Thankfully, I read all the way to the end before hitting total despair. The horrible thing is that with the rampant commercialization and profit-means-everything mentality of the entertainment industry today, the hoax was entirely believable.

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  8. 'Why would he be yahoo-ing about this?!'
    Oh, CK. Sometimes you are just so clever.
    ;)

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  9. Seriously, my dear..
    THAT IS NOT FUNNY.
    Clever, but not funny.
    ;)
    I was royally pissed; creating a scathing letter to whom it may concern over at TCM..

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  10. very mean!
    so glad it was a prank!
    Tom Ruegger

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  11. What a nasty and cruel joke! hahaha, but I must admit that was very clever and quite funny.

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  12. Ah!
    Don't do that to me! I thought I had come by too late to really to anything about it.

    To tell you the truth, I thought "that guy is awfully disrespectful to Robert Osbourne, the icon of their channel (therefore a moneymaker, ratingsmaker). Something's not right here."

    But I thought "surely he's overreacting b/c most Classic movie buffs who watch TV think of TCM first, above AMC."

    I was up in arms, about to call all my classic movies friends to fight this insanity.:)

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